““Heal the past, Live the present, Dream the future.” –Mary Engelbreit”
Healing from Traumatic Events
Sometimes, situations in life can feel difficult or overwhelming. Talking about your thoughts and feelings can lessen the pain of holding your feelings inside. You can feel better.
Trauma can affect your sense of self, trust in others, and view of the world. The intensity and impact of trauma can vary a great deal. One definition of trauma is that it happens whenever a particular situation overwhelms your ability to cope.
Therapy Can Help
Therapy can help you feel more present in the moment and less influenced by past trauma. Therapy can provide an environment where you can find and express your emotions. You can also explore underlying beliefs which were created during the trauma, beliefs that made sense in the moment but that may not be accurate now. I use the following approaches:
EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) (a popular and effective way of resolving trauma; you don't need to talk a lot about the trauma to resolve it with EMDR)
Guided meditation (to increase calmness & have more coping strategies)
Cognitive behavioral therapy (a way to change painful beliefs)
Art therapy techniques (sometimes using art is easier than talking)
Traditional counseling or talk therapy (sometimes it is helpful to talk about what happened)
I use approaches that I think are very compassionate, caring, and effective. People tell me that I am easy to talk to and very nonjudgmental, which is so important to me.
Of course, therapy is confidential, which can help you feel safe enough to begin to talk about painful issues. And, if you prefer more privacy, some techniques can be done with very little talking. You are in control of your healing.
Therapy can help people transform their lives, which is why I love being a therapist.
"Smaller" Traumas Count Too
Often, people think that their trauma does not matter because it is 'smaller' than someone else's. All trauma is hurtful.
Of course, trauma encompasses non-abuse-related trauma too. Even children of well-meaning parents can experience trauma while growing up. We also experience traumatic events as adults, whenever a situation overwhelms our ability to cope.
Child Abuse and Neglect
Therapy can help survivors of sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, and other trauma.
A child's sense of self is so greatly impacted by abuse and neglect. Children often blame themselves, and this self-blame can continue into adulthood. Blaming oneself is often a way of trying to feel in control of a scary, out-of-control situation. Abuse or neglect is never the child's fault. Even if the child wanted the connection and closeness, the abuse was not the child's fault. All children deserve safe attention.
Survivors of child abuse and neglect might struggle with self-esteem and self-confidence. You might also have a hard time believing that you are worthy and good. Healing can help you recover your sense of self-esteem, self-confidence, worth, and goodness.
Trusting others and trusting the world are often difficult if you have survived abuse and neglect. Believing that others will be there and will be kind takes work, but it is possible.
If you have survived abuse or neglect, there is help available. Please contact me or another healing person. If you are under 18, you can also contact your local child protective services or police. (CPS hotline for the Sunnyvale/Santa Clara area: (408) 299-2071)
Potential Concerns About Therapy
Sometimes people are concerned that a therapist will try to force them to look at painful issues before they are ready. Unfortunately, in the past, some therapists have tried to force people to process trauma too quickly. Many current approaches tend to be much gentler and more respectful of where each person is at in the healing process. If you are working with me or another therapist and you feel pushed, please talk about your concerns. I try very hard to be aware of how fast or slow someone needs to go. I think that it is incredibly important that you get to choose when and how you heal. Honoring your own needs is part of healing.
Sometimes, people are concerned that a therapist will blame or judge them, and this fear can keep people from getting help. Especially after surviving abuse or any trauma, feeling blamed or judged can be so painful. I try to be very sensitive and compassionate. I’m happy to talk first on the phone if that would be helpful.
People are sometimes concerned that they will fall into their pain and never recover. Or they think that the past is in the past and they are afraid to stir things up. In therapy, you can learn tools that help you feel calmer when you are starting to feel overwhelmed. Part of healing is finding a balance between feeling the pain and making room for comfort and joy.
Everyone Can Heal
No matter what you have been through, you can heal. Many times, people think that they have been hurt too badly to heal. However, everyone can heal. Your life can get better.
You Deserve to Heal!
You deserve to heal and thrive. If there is any doubt about this, imagine what you would tell someone else who lived through what you have lived through. Often, it is easier to have compassion for others. You deserve compassion and healing too. Be very gentle and kind to yourself.
More Information about Healing
Other pages on my website about healing from trauma-
Healing from Trauma (my blog posts about healing from trauma)
Healing from Sexual Abuse (my blog post about healing from sexual abuse/assault)
Healing from Sexual Abuse and Sexual Assault (my webpage about healing from sexual abuse/assault)
Healing from Date Rape or Acquaintance Rape (my webpage about healing from date rape)
Healing from PTSD (my webpage about healing from PTSD or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)
You are also welcome to call or email me if you have any questions.
Therapy Office in Sunnyvale
My office is in Sunnyvale, California on Wolfe Rd., near El Camino Real (also close to Santa Clara, Cupertino, and Mountain View). Parking is easy; there is a large parking lot.
1021 S. Wolfe Rd., Suite 255
Sunnyvale, CA 94086
Directions to Sunnyvale Therapy Office
About Me
I am a therapist/counselor in Sunnyvale, California. I primarily work with individual adults. (LMFT Lic. # LMFT40414)
Please visit my therapy home page for more information about me.
To Schedule an Appointment or Ask Questions
Call me or email me at stacy@stacyoleary.com to ask any questions you have or set up an appointment. You can also schedule a free phone consultation with me.