Couples Therapy & Relationship Counseling

Therapy can help people build stronger foundations. Having good relationships is so important to our overall happiness as human beings. Life is too short to be unhappy in a relationship.

I have experience helping people with the following issues:

• Working through issues related to infertility or miscarriages

• Healing from trauma or grief/loss

• Exploring how family-of-origin issues influence current relationships

• Coming out as LGBTQ+ or managing prejudice from one’s family or society

• Setting up guidelines for polyamory or processing emotions regarding polyamory

• Resolving emotions around affairs and infidelities

• Healing from alcohol abuse or other addictions

• Increasing enjoyable activities and quality time together

Every couple and every person has their strengths. I am always curious about your strengths as well as what you want to work on.

Ways to Resolve Trauma and Difficult Feelings

Therapy can help people to better understand their own thoughts and feelings, as well as their partner’s perspective.

Using EMDR to resolve past trauma or difficult memories/feelings can be very useful.

Healing from Infertility or Miscarriages

Experiencing infertility or miscarriages can be so difficult individually and as a couple. Couples therapy can help you work through the grief, fear, anger, guilt, and other emotions. Experiencing a miscarriage or infertility is a painful process. I encourage you to be as gentle with yourself as possible and to get all the support that you need. It does get easier.

In couples therapy, you can also better understand each other's reactions and how you're affected as a couple. Often, partners have different reactions to infertility and miscarriages and that can cause conflict in an already difficult situation.

Couples therapy can help you process the pain and decide how you want to move forward.

Is Past Trauma Influencing Your Current Relationship?

Past trauma often influences our ability to connect with our partners and build the solid relationships that we desire. Emotions and thoughts from past trauma can get overlaid onto present situations, which can be very confusing and frustrating. In therapy, we can explore what is motivating your behaviors, emotions, and thoughts. You can develop tools that help you stay more in the present so that you are less influenced by the past. In couples therapy or individual therapy, you can heal from past trauma so that it is not negatively impacting your relationship and the rest of your life.

Past sexual abuse or sexual assault can interfere with having a happy, fulfilling sexual relationship with your partner(s).

Grief and loss is also a common issue that people talk about in couples therapy.

Therapy with LGBTQ+ Couples

I enjoy working with same-sex couples, as well as LGBTQ+ individuals.

I'm knowledgeable about LGBTQ+ issues. While sometimes being LGBTQ+ is the focus of therapy, other times it is not the focus but people still need a therapist who embraces who they are.

Polyamorous Relationships

I enjoy working with people who are exploring if they are poly or trying to set up ground rules and boundaries for polyamory. I also help people resolve painful emotions and difficulties around polyamory. I’m open to working with individuals, couples, triads, vees, quads, and moresomes.

I’m also knowledgeable about kink.

Healing from Affairs & Infidelities

An affair brings up many emotions for both partners, such as guilt, betrayal, grief, fear, and anger. Couples therapy can help you work through the emotions and decide what you want to do. Sometimes, people do not talk to friends or family members about affairs due to privacy concerns; however, this leads people to feel very isolated with the pain.

Alcohol Addiction or Substance Use

I have experience working with people who are getting sober/clean or maintaining sobriety/clean time.

If someone does not want to get sober and does not see the negative impacts, I am not the best therapist for them. You might try a therapist who has a strong background in motivational interviewing and who specializes in helping people who are not yet aware of their own addiction.

Non-Blaming Couples Therapy

In couples therapy, sometimes people are concerned that therapists will judge them. I strongly believe that change happens when people feel supported and accepted. Therefore, I am non-blaming. I believe that we all do the best that we know how to do in any given moment. While we are responsible for our actions, everyone has done things that he or she regrets doing. Being perfect is not necessary (or possible); being open to repairing the relationship is all that is needed.

It’s not uncommon for partners to blame each other (and try to convince the therapist that they are right). I don’t think focusing on the blame is useful. I’m more interested in your underlying feelings and what each person can do to make the situation better.

If you are in a high-conflict relationship with lots of blame, I probably am not the right therapist for you. I’d suggest finding a therapist who specializes in high-conflict relationships.

Couples Therapy with Individual Sessions

Sometimes in couples therapy, it helps to meet as a couple and also individually to give each person a chance to speak freely or work through past issues on their own. However, I don’t hold secrets from the other partner. Couples and individual sessions are all part of couples therapy.

Exclusively Individual Therapy

I also see adults in individual therapy. This might make the most sense if your partner is unable to come in or if you want more privacy. Individual therapy gives you more privacy than individual sessions in couples therapy.

I’m not ethically able to do individual therapy and couples therapy simultaneously.

Therapy License Information

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT or MFT) (formerly called Licensed Marriage, Family, and Child Counselor). LMFTs work with adults, teenagers, children, couples, and families. (Lic. # LMFT40414)

Therapy Office in Sunnyvale

My office is in Sunnyvale, California on Wolfe Rd., near El Camino Real (also close to Santa Clara, Cupertino, and Mountain View). Parking is easy; there is a large parking lot.

1021 S. Wolfe Rd., Suite 255
Sunnyvale, CA 94086

Directions to Sunnyvale Therapy Office

To Schedule an Appointment or Ask Questions

Call me or email me at stacy@stacyoleary.com to ask any questions you have or set up an appointment. You can also schedule a free phone consultation with me.